


will it all just be an illusion?

by inpctxy



Category: No Fandom
Genre: By the way this describes me personally, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I dunno any other tags to add, Metaphor, Of course I was listening to the neighboorhood, One-Shot, angst I guess?, its not selfcest istg, not a self insert lmao, possibly crying, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26418277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inpctxy/pseuds/inpctxy
Summary: "Someday you have to realize that you can't just imagine everything."





	will it all just be an illusion?

**Author's Note:**

> A vent. Don't take too much out of it.  
> I also kinda went along as I wrote it. So it might be confusing. 
> 
> Also warning: some suggestive themes

Staring at my monitor screen, overwhelmed by the receiving person speaking into their microphone and slightly shivering from the overdose of air conditioner. Head in the clouds, my black coffee cooling down every minute, my jade sweater bagging down my noticeable chest. My hair is ridiculously messy and greasy, needing for a serious washing. Too bad my 5 dollar hotel shampoo was packed up somewhere. I groaned in frustration and adjusted my shitty posture, shifting around frequently in my uncomfortable metal chair so it isn't making my bony ass so numb and sore. 

About to slam my nose into the keyboard due to overexertion, I pick up the small squeaking of feet against the wooden kitchen floor. Probably something I was hearing in my sleep/awake state..so I continue my act of half-lidded, distracted, and lightheaded behavior. 

Cold, clammy hands consumed me. Finally shook awake from the element of surprise and the icy touch, I opened my mouth and tried to yelp. My vocal cords strangely weren't vibrating. I released my throat again and all of my muscles froze. Creeping from the mouth, lips, nose, cheeks and escaping lower. I couldn't move. Or I couldn't speak. Or see. I could only hear. Perhaps smell but the only two things I know that will sting my nostrils is peppermint and smoke. All I could do is tremble with anxiety. 

I sense a light tug at the flap of my turtleneck. The suspicious person behind me is breathing heavily, cold air exhaling onto my slender neck. Still blindfolding me, paralyzing me in their grip, then sharply yanking down the turtleneck exposing the flushed, pale skin. Hair rising to the sudden frigid environment after being previously secured by a warm fluffy neck covering, my hands and feet were tingling. Tingling to the point microscopic skin cells in my body could vibrate and explode right there and then. But it just couldn't. Without my skin letting me do so made me highly uneasy. Not seeing this, well...invader let me catch a glimpse at them...made me so curious, anticipation daunted at my conscience.

"Please, please, please, please don't do anything, I swear on my life please..just let me go" I tried hollering in straight up fear and agony to the really strange person that started to disturbingly continue the heavy exhaling on my bare neck. Soft, plump lips approaching the shell of my ear. Felt her tongue swipe briefly against it as she spoke.

"Someday you'll just have to realize that you can't just imagine everything." the feminine sounding voice quipped as supposedly-her bittersweet smirk radiating against my flesh.  
She lightly grazed the edge of my round jawline with her teeth as if she was about to--.

"I SWEAR TO GOD, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND LEAVE ME ALONE", I retorted harshly, as if I was going to break the spell of not being able to do anything. The irregular breathing actually quit. The long, piano fingers loosened over my lids. Frozen, I could only catch the shadow lurking to the other side, the very front of me. They sat lovingly on the short, card table that was a so-called desk and I fluttered my eyes open. I spat out my black coffee that was settling in my mouth for 2 hours violently, in straight up shock. 

Gazing right into me horrifyingly yet satisfying, a young woman with fine, chest-length hair and gunmetal irises. Clean silky skin unlike my dry, non-cared for acne, and she seemed very bright and oriented, no dark mauve circles surrounding her eyes taken them in as if hooded like mine. An exact mole on her left cheek a bit below her eye rested. Her body was slender and tall but also added with quite the curves. Like mine-. 

Finally after rubbing my eyes, I gaped my mouth, "Um, you are literally me, this is creepy" I stood up and striked her in the face preparing to break some kind of mirror or funky lucid dream I might've just had. After punching her, a nasty bruise appears on my own cheek. I glared at her and lazily scowled.

"Eyyy..I don't have a twinnn sisterr, go awayy" and attempted another swing at my "twin". She firmly gripped onto my bony wrist, threatening to snap it.

"Dumbass." she muttered sounding exactly like my monotone, bleak voice. She realized my hand me retracting back and caressing it in pain.

Gazing at her one more time, this time in admiration and detail, She looked exactly liked me. Identical. Both bruises on our cheeks. Both our annoyingly long eyelashes getting inside our eyes. The difference? She was me, but all my insecurities disappeared. She was flawless. My kind of perfect. The type of ideal everyone would've adored and be obsessed over. The kind were nobody would ever be able to leave without feeling utter guilt and regret. 

Bitter and jealous, I swallowed my frustrations and turned to face her. The longer I settled my eyes on her, the more pressure building up in my stomach. 

"I..I-" My laptop was shut down, closed with coffee dripping off the corner and papers and journals soaked and scattered everywhere. 

The clone of myself placed her elegant hands on my broad shoulders and her expression seemed soft and gentle at first, but her eyes are glinting sadistically

“Look at you sweetie, you’re just a goddamn mess.” she grinned very sarcastically.

What I know of just from background knowledge is that when a female your age addresses you as sweetie, you know for SURE that it is quite sarcastic. Usually you call your friends bitches. Which is kind of old for me, since well, I don't have very many friends. This kind of me seemed quite, popular and liked and seemed to have her shit together.

I signed deeply and lifted my eyes back onto her. 

She pointed to the big window behind me.  
A huge playground for children layered in wood chips painted as a illusion through the glass while a huge group of young women and men also about my age screwing around, laughing, on their phones taking selfies, making tiktoks, flirting, playing silly games like minor spin the bottle and truth or dare under the giant plastic yellow slide, so much..even I..never expirienced truly. 

The more I lingered, the longer the warm breeze mixed with the crisp air caught my face, I was feeling up with a strong taste of jealously. Or perhaps loneliness. I bit my lip and scowled. Apparently my clone have noticed. She sensed everything about me after all.

"...you don't try" she mumbled in worry and for once sympathy. Not knowing what that comment out of the blue came from, I quickly drove back my attention to the open window, old curtains flying around me. 

“Hun, this could be you. Enjoying your life. Having friends. Getting out of the house. Living where you want to be.” Her tone became serious and concerning as almost a mother. Which got on my nerves. She sounded like my mom-..

Again my only response was a droop of my head and a small groan of pensiveness.

**Author's Note:**

> If you get this, then yeah..
> 
> SORRY THIS IS A WIP I DONT WANNA GET IT DELETED


End file.
